Instead of looking the other way, we need to face the issue head on. April is Child Abuse Prevention Month, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the federal Administration for Children and Families (ACF) intend to increase awareness of the issue while encouraging the support of children and families in need.

What Is Child Abuse?
The definitions for child abuse and neglect can vary from state to state, but at the very minimum follow the guidelines set forth by the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) legislation, which reads:

“Any recent act or failure to act on the part of the parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents imminent risk of serious harm.”

Abuse Statistics
Did you know that an estimated four children die every day in the United States due to child abuse? And that three out of four of these victims are under the age of four? According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, child maltreatment fatalities continue to remain a serious problem, despite the efforts of the child protection system.

Did you also know that in the United States:

• Ninety percent of reported rape victims under the age of 12 knew their perpetrator?

• Child abuse occurs at every income level, in every ethnic group and cultural group, and within every religion?

• Nearly 80 percent of perpetrators of child abuse and maltreatment were the parents?

• Over 36 percent of women and 14 percent of men in prison were victims of child abuse?

• Of the 905,000 confirmed abuse cases in 2006, children ages one and younger suffered the highest rate of victimization?

• One-third of child abuse victims will grow up to abuse their own children?

As a new parent, I find these facts hard to swallow. In fact, I’m more than sure that these facts can’t be easy for any concerned parent to read. But this is what Child Abuse Awareness Month is about: bringing the issue to the forefront in order to help those who need it most—the children being abused.

Speaking Up for the Victims
I think the toughest part of putting an end to child abuse is our very resistance to butt into other people’s affairs. Maybe your neighbor spanks their child for the smallest of transgressions. Or perhaps you have witnessed a harried parent yanking a screaming toddler out of a grocery store by their arm.

Or maybe your child has mentioned a classmate who always seems to be showing up at school with bumps or bruises that can’t be explained.

When do you speak up? How do you speak up?

The Child Welfare Information Gateway offers the following tips for recognizing signs of child abuse or neglect.

Does the child:

• Have unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes?

• Have fading bruises or other marks after a school absence?

• Shrink in the presence of adults?

• Report being injured by their parent or another caregiver?

• Lack needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or even glasses?

• Consistently appear dirty or have a bad body odor?

• Beg for or steal food or money?

Does the parent:

• Offer conflicting explanations or no explanation at all for their child’s injury?

• Use harsh physical discipline with their child?

• Have a history of being abused as a child?

• Seem indifferent or depressed?

• Abuse alcohol or drugs?

For a comprehensive list of signs of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Preventing Child Abuse
If you suspect abuse or neglect, report it to your local social services department. Call the police immediately if you believe a child is in immediate danger, says Prevent Child Abuse (PCA).

But, and perhaps more importantly, try to look beyond the headlines. Instead, try to focus your attention on ways you can actively take part in reducing the incidence of child abuse, by reducing the stress in your community that can lead to abuse and neglect. Ways of reducing stress include:

• Donating your used clothing, toys, or furniture to a family you know, to help reduce the financial stresses that parents sometimes take out on their children.

• Talking to your neighbors about watching out for each other’s children to show that you are involved.

• Volunteering time or money to community programs that support families and children.

However you decide to reach out, take heart and remember that child abuse prevention is a year-round effort.

More resources:

Phone numbers in your state for reporting child abuse

Child Abuse Prevention Month Tips

Administration for Childen and Families

Child Welfare Information Gateway

"DOMESTIC" VIOLENCE: 

Maybe he’s your friend, your brother-in-law, your cousin, co-worker, gym partner or fishing buddy. You’ve noticed that he interrupts her, criticizes her family, yells at her or scares her. You hope that when they’re alone, it isn’t worse.

The way he treats her makes you uncomfortable, but you don’t want to make him mad or lose his friendship. You surely don’t want to see him wreck his marriage or have to call the police. What can you do?

Say something. If you don’t, your silence is the same as saying abuse is ok. He could hurt someone, or end up in jail. Because you care, you need to do something… before it is too late.

What Can You Say or Do?

Draw attention to it.

“Do you see the effect your bad words have on her?”
“When you do that, it makes her feel bad.”
“Did you mean to be so rough? That’s not cool.”

Tell him what you think.

“I’m really worried about her safety.”
“I’m surprised to see you act that way. You’re better than that.”
“I care about you, but I won’t tolerate it if you abuse her.”
“This makes me really uncomfortable. It’s not right.”

Express ideas about loving behavior.

“Loving her doesn’t mean abusing her.”
“Good husbands and partners don’t say or do those kinds of things.”

Offer suggestions or solutions.

“Men should never hit or threaten the women they love.”
“Kids learn from their parents. Is this how you want your son to treat women?”
“How would you feel if your daughter chose someone who acted like this?”
“Call me if you feel like you’re losing control.”
“Maybe you should try counseling.”
“You should talk to your faith leader and see what he/she suggests.”

If his behavior is criminal, tell him so.

“Domestic violence is a crime. You could be arrested for this.”
“You could end up in jail if you don’t find a way to deal with your problems. Then what would happen to you and your family?”

He May Not Like It

He may not listen. He may get enraged, deny it, ignore you or make excuses. He may want to talk about what she did to him. He may even laugh it off or make fun of you. Still, you need to say something. Your silence is the same as saying you approve.

Or He May Take You Seriously and Decide to Change

If men learn to put down and abuse women from other men, they can also learn from other men how to respect women. When you decide that violence against women is unacceptable and choose to lead, other men will begin to think twice before they strike with their words or fists.

It isn’t easy or comfortable, but men must step up to the plate because next time, it could be your sister, mother, friend or co-worker. It’s the right thing to do.

Listen. Teach. Lead.

Help Stop Domestic Violence

If you are concerned about the safety of your friend’s partner or spouse, or to learn about services in your area, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or
TTY 1-800-787-3224.

www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Do The Right Thing!!